Second Chance
by starsontheceiling
Summary: Sam decides Alex and Gene deserve a second chance at happiness. Not enough space to explain. Please read for a better explanation.
1. Chapter 1 Strangers Helping

**Hi, I'm Becky and this is my first fic. It starts with Sam's point of view, then moves onto Alex's and then finally to the 'main' character. There is some of the Gene Genie later on as well. People looking for Galex, sorry! This is more of another ending to A2A; there is a little Galex later on but not much. I originally wrote this for my best friend and me because we hated the ending. She loves it (or pretends to XD) and I got addicted to writing it so it's ridiculously long and probably awful. Reviews would be great, if it's awful just tell me but please don't just say it's bad, explain why (storyline, dialogue characters etc). **

**BASIC SUMMARY: Sam decides Gene and Alex deserve another chance at happiness so enlists the help of Molly's best friend Alice Moorland. Stranded in 1988 she must figure out a way to help Alex and Gene and stop Keats who is raging another campaign to destroy Gene. Will she be able to stop him, see Alex and Gene reunited or will she fail...? That sounds bad XD Just read it please!**

**Thank you to Isobel for being so nice about it and not letting me stop and to LionessOfTheQuattro for convincing me to put it on.**

**I'll stop rambling now and let you read it :) Enjoy!**

"Well." I say, standing up and slamming my hands down on the table, suddenly angry, angry at the picture in front of me; Alex Drake, a fighter sitting alone at a bar, defeated. And far away my DCI who fought the world and was an angry, violent man but a good man sitting alone in an old Italian. They both went down fighting and now they both sit there, alone and defeated. "I'm sick of this. They both deserve to be happy and I am going to do something about it."

They all look up at me, and just for a moment I feel like I was back in Manchester CID. I expect the Gov to come in the door and make some sarcastic quip, Phyllis to run in demanding us to answer our phones, Ray to smirk and disagree, Annie to smile encouragingly, Chris to be confused. Joking, but expecting me to be able to solve it, to be able to rub it in Litton's face and have a drink afterwards. But we aren't and they look sadly disbelievingly at me.

"Oh you are, are you?" Came a soft, well spoken voice behind me. "And what to you plan to do, DI Tyler?"

I spin around in shock. An elderly fair skinned man faces me. His pale skin is tanned slightly as though by years of spending times outdoors, his hair is silver and his eyes are a startling deep dark brown. He is wearing a light grey suit, a thin light blue shirt and a silk tie, well dressed basically and sounds well brought up.

But that is not what made me unable to answer him. He emits an aura of power, the kind of man who has your respect simply by wanting to earn it. The kind of man who deserves the power God has seen fit to bestow upon him. A natural leader and a man who you know you can trust without having to ask.

"I am so sorry." He continues his voice warm "That must have sounded so rude."

"Who-who are you?" I ask, stuttering slightly as I extend my hand formally.

"I am the manager of the pub" He answers in his soft captivating voice. "And this is my son." He gestures a young man forward, about 33 I would say. When he introduces him the elderly man's face lights up, shining with love and pride.

"Sam!" The guy greets me enthusiastically; he also shakes my hand; up and down with similar enthusiasm to his greeting.

"Hello." I smile, swept away a bit by it all. The others sit behind me in shocked silence.

The young man has darker skin than his father, with jet black hair but the same eyes. He is dressed in tight dark blue jeans and a plain white shirt, untucked and the top button undone. His presence is just as powerful as his father's, but he emits happiness and friendship.

"Same again, I presume for the rest of you?" The manager says as he pulls two chairs up to our table and sits down with his son. We all agree and he gestures casually at Nelson. Nelson comes over with a tray of drinks, including a scotch for the manager and a pint for his son. "So, Sam." He smiles after taking a sip. "What exactly do plan to do to help your friends?"

"I'm not sure." I admit, at a slight loss. I had made an outburst in a flash of anger and now something was about be done but I had no idea what to do. "I want to help them so badly but I don't actually know what I can do..." I trail off, pathetically. A failure.

"Well they certainly both deserve their happiness." The old man muses "You were right about that but how to go about it?"

"I can't help but wonder," The young man interrupts "whether Gene would come in here at all. You lot know him best, would he, would he come in?"

I place my head in my hands, defeated. This stranger has realised something we were all far too blind to see. Gene's stubbornness, his desire to help our lost souls. He could never come in. It's not a matter of choice, not really.

"Of course he would." Chris insists indignantly.

"Yeah, we're his mates ain't we?" Ray exclaims, angry, defiant.

"I always thought he would..." Annie trails off, her hope dwindling fast.

It is only Shaz and me that haven't replied. Shaz with her intuition and unclouded vision. Shaz who is shaking her head. "No." She says, that simple little word, so bleak, unadorned.

"No. Of course he won't. I don't think he can." I say, my head still lowered, my voice flat. "He is bound by that world. He has to stay there, to look after the souls. He can't leave. That place. It defines him."

"Don't tell me you are gonna start coming out with that psycho bollocks too Sam?" Ray moans a flippant comment to mask the pain I see flickering in his eyes.

"It's psychology Ray and as far as I know DI Tyler is not a trained police psychoanalyser, no. I'm off to bed. See you lot later." Alex sounded slightly more cheerful than I had heard in ages.

"How long have you been there?" I ask, worriedly. I don't want her hopes raised, plus I want it to be a surprise, if we can do it.

"Only long enough to hear Ray complain at you. I'm going to bed." She leaves and I smile slightly. I can't help but wonder if it was this strange pairing that lifted her mood, the son, emitting happiness. He glances at me. He mouths something: _perceptive Sam. _I shrug it off.

"So, if he won't come in..." I say tiredly. '_This is impossible'_ I think.

"Couldn't she go out?" Annie asks, slipping her hand into mine.

"Yeah, I mean we're all dead. The Guv included and he's out there." Shaz points out.

"That's a good idea, let her go out!" I exclaim, why didn't I think of that before?

"Yes." The manager downs the last of his whisky. He smiles, his dark eyes twinkling.

"Yes?" I ask, shocked. I didn't think it would be so easy.

"It's not quite that simple I am afraid DI Tyler." He admits. "We can't just send her out. That world, by her choosing to leave it, has rejected her now. She has been cleansed, purified; made ready for this world, say what you will. But if she is to go back there needs to be someone to go there who is not ready for it, someone with a pure mind and no intentions bar helping DCI Hunt and DI Drake, someone who goes there but doesn't belong and then leaves to make way for DI Drake."

"But who would be that pure?" Chris asks, confused.

"A child." Shaz said.

"Exactly DC Granger, and there we have our problem."

"Who does it have to be a child?" Annie asks. "There are pure adults about too."

"Not many," the son points out "and besides. A child is completely pure, unsullied by the practicalities of the grown up world, not evil intentions, only wanting to help."

"But we can't send a young child in! They'd never understand." Annie objects.

"So, we have our problem how do you intend to fix it?" The old man asks, Nelson appearing with another whisky for him. "Thank you Nelson." He smiles, taking a sip.


	2. Chapter 2 Making Choices

**Thanks for the reviews! This is for sash queen of the jungle and EightEminus for their lovely comments. Enjoy!**

"How about we send in Drake's kid? You know, Molly." Ray asks; his first proper contribution to the conversation.

"Children are far too selfish where their parents are involved, but that age group is probably best, any younger they wouldn't understand, any older they're practically adults." The son smiles encouragingly at Ray. I can't help but smile, this man whoever he is knows exactly how to handle Ray.

"Maybe one of her friends? Someone who knew Alex would probably be best." Shaz points out.

"Yeah!" I agree, quickly. "Maybe Molly's best friend?"

"A good idea DI Tyler." The old man smiles. Something suddenly comes into my head.

"The child, would it have to be sacrificed? It would go back, wouldn't it?" I ask panicky, I want to help Alex but no way am I condemning an innocent civilian, especially a child.

"Of course they would, don't worry Sam." The young man smiles comfortingly at me.

"God Tyler, you're such a poof." Ray smirks. I glare at him.

"Ladies, ladies." Annie smiles.

"Back to the subject." The old man intercedes tactfully.

"Yes, definitely, sorry Sir." I say, subdued, Ray is also quiet, drinking his pint in silence.

"Who to choose?" The young man asks.

"Well it'd had to be a girl, wouldn't it?" Chris says.

"Why?" I ask him, surprised at how certain he sounds.

"Well the Gov would never let a lad in, would he?"

"That is a very good point Chris." I grin at him, surprised. Chris has certainly changed since I last knew him. I glance at the person I am certain is the reason just as she leans over to give him a kiss on the cheek. Ray mimes being sick into his glass. I glance at Annie and immediately see she is trying to keep a straight face. I give her hand a quick squeeze.

"Right then, I'd guess we'd better bring out the files." The old man smiles. "If you would all follow me." He stands up and finishes the last of his whisky. I follow suit and he leads us up some stairs into a room that, from the looks on Chris, Ray and Shaz's faces is very similar to their old CID.

"It's practically our CID!" Shaz exclaims, confirming my suspicions.

"Yes, a few changes brought it more up to date. Some of these things are probably right up your street DI Tyler."

"Yes they are sir." I grin. I'd forgotten all about touch sensitive smart boards, and data at the touch of your fingers instead of having to rummage through files. I turn it on and totally ignore the others, who are having it all explained to them by the young man. The old man is sitting in the office staring at me, a ghost of a smile on his face. I open up the database and find in delight how easy to use and how self explanatory it is. I smile and turn to nod at the old man. _Ready_ I mouth. He smiles back and comes through.

"Now as you are all now aware this is technology from your friend DI Tyler's time. By the way, it has data on everybody Sam, connections to each other, everything."

"Good." I smile. "If everyone could sit down."

"Bloody hell." Ray mutters "It's worse than one of Drake's little pyschobloodywhatsits and no Gov to liven it up." Nonetheless however he grabs a chair and sits down, pulling out a cigarette and starts to smoke. I ignore him. There's a whiteboard next to me and across it in big letters I write the words ALEX AND GENE in block capitals. I then summarise what we know.

About forty-five minutes and a lot of arguing later we finally reach a decision in the form of a girl named Alice Moorland.

"I mean she's perfect, what with her personality and wha-" I say for what must be the thousandth time later that night, sitting around the table playing cards, much to Ray's disgust with Shaz and Annie as well as our new friends.

"Yes we get it Sam, now be quiet." Annie begs me. I look at her, mock offended. She laughs. "I haven't upset you have i?" She teases.

"Very much so." I tease back.

"Well I'd better say sorry then."

"I can think of something better than saying sorry." I grin and pull her over for a kiss.

Ray moans but before either of us can say anything Chris buts in. "You really need to get yourself a girl mate." Everyone bursts into laughter except Ray who glowers at Chris from behind his hand of cards. I wait for the _Christopher is right Raymondo my friend_ I hit myself internally when it doesn't come. The Gov isn't here, and he never will be, no matter how badly I miss him. Alex misses him way more than you do; she's the one who's going back. But I know that if given the chance I would give all this up just to be back in the old Cortina and arguing with Gene about his methods. Just one moment, just one moment more of that strange kind of paradise.

As I lie in bed that night I cannot sleep. I turn over onto my back and sigh, staring at the dark ceiling. Annie sits up beside me. Shit, I didn't mean to wake her up.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up Annie."

"I know. What's the matter?"

"I miss him." I tell her, and I don't have to tell her anymore. He was my best friend and she knows it.

"So does Alex. I think you need to go to her."

"It's 3am in the bloody morning!" I object "She'll never be awake."

"Yes she will."

"How do you know?"

"Women's intuition." She smiles, practically shoving me out of the bed. "Go on."

I get dressed and go along the corridor and am about to knock on Alex's door when I spot the manager lingering in the doorway leading to the stairs. "Sir." I lift my hand in greeting, wondering who else is out here on this strangest of mornings.

"When you are done could you bring her to me and my son, we will be downstairs."

"Of course, may I ask why?"

"We intend to ask her and then you need to go save your Alice if she is ever to help those two."

"Why?"

"My friend James Keats" his normally serene face darkened at the name "thought we might try something like this and he is nothing if not clever, he has got her in the grips of depression. He has had her for two years."

"But," I flounder lost for words.

"Time is not constant DI Tyler, especially not here. Please do not take too long."

Then he has gone, slipping quietly down the stairwell. I turn to knock on the door and almost immediately Alex opened the door. She looks tired and her eyes are red and her eye makeup streaky. "Can I come in?"


	3. Chapter 3 Late night visitors

**Hello! Sorry I took so long to update, Christmas sort of got in the way! Anyway, had a little time before the relatives arrive so I thought I'd update. This part is from Alex's POV. It's very long!**

**Please review!**

**Merry Christmas x**

I stare around at the laughter, the sounds of the pub slipping around me, drowning me in its happiness and me, drowning my sorrows in red wine. Memories falling through my mind. His face branded on the back of eyes. I can't forget.

"You alright lady?"

"Not particularly Nelson." I try to smile at him but tears spill over instead.

"You aren't happy." It wasn't a question, it was statement.

"No."

"You need your friends."

"Yes, but not just them. The people I love, Molly and... and..."

"And Gene." Nelson finishes.

"Yes. And Gene." I admit.

Nelson smiles. "I can't fix everythin' I'm afraid Alex but I can help a little. Well, they can."

And suddenly I am surrounded by people, Shaz giving me a hug, Ray reaching out a giving my hand a quick squeeze, Sam kissing me lightly on the cheek, Annie smiling sadly at me, Chris unsure what to do with himself just stands there awkwardly.

"Cheer up Ma'am. It's supposed heaven." Ray joked, trying to lighten the atmosphere a little.

"I know it's just..."

"We know Alex." Sam reassures me, a half smile fixed on his handsome face. Handsome, but so not my type. "I think maybe, it's time for you to go to sleep." He stands up and offers me his hand. I glance at Annie. She gives me a slight nod; so confidant in their love for each other, or maybe in my unattractiveness. This thought makes me smile a little and I let Sam lead me up into my room. All the time, memories keep pouring in. He's so deeply embedded into my soul that even simple things remind me of him. "Your room my lady." Sam opens the door for me.

"It's empty." I point out critically, although still only a ghost of my old self. And it is empty, a blank room with plaster coloured walls and nondescript wooden floors.

"Well how do you want it to look?"

I pause, thinking and as different ideas flicker through my head the room changes. I finally decide on my flat in Gene's world but with a few mod cons; blu-ray, 42" flat screen TV and all the films I could possible want and all my tapes on records (ok so maybe that isn't modern but I couldn't resist).

"Is that a good idea, I mean...?" Sam gestures at it. The word Gene hangs unspoken in the air.

"Maybe not, but humour me for a while, it has more good memories that bad that old place, besides you have to admit. It was a pretty awesome flat."

Sam laughs at that and is about to leave when I stop him. "When you woke up again, what made you jump of that roof Sam?"

"Loneliness." He replied simply, and then he laughed.

"What?" I push. I need to know, I always have done. I need to know what made him want to go back there.

"It wasn't just loneliness."

"What was it then?"

"I wanted to feel alive. Ironic, isn't? Committing suicide just to feel alive and I did. I always felt more alive there than I ever did in the 'real' world." He made little quotation marks with his fingers. "And that moment I jumped, I have never felt that kind of exhilaration. I've never been happier, or more alive than the moment I committed suicide."

I smile gently at him. Envy searing my heart. He is happy here, happier than perhaps I will ever be. No perhaps about it, he is happier than I could ever be. Once upon time I was that happy; running down a hill holding my little girl's hand, running down towards Evan who was holding our picnic basket. Our strange little family. Happiness. Long since gone. Then, briefly, unbidden another thought comes into my head, one of many nights at Luigi's sitting across from Gene in our little corner, watching Chris winding up Luigi, Ray winding up Chris and Shaz laughing at the pair of them. Little piece of heaven. Long since gone as well.

"Good night Alex. Keep smiling." He turns and leaves.

"Easier said than done." I mutter closing my door and leaning against, my eyes closed, tears still forcing their ways' out and down my cheeks.

I open my eyes and see Gene on the sofa. Then I blink and he is gone but now Molly runs towards me, arms outspread. I blink again and they are both gone, and I am alone in a cold empty flat.

I go to the sofa and curl up on it, tear spilling down my cheeks and darkening the zebra print fabric.

The days pass and my friends worry but I can't pull myself out of my pit. I miss Molly and I miss Gene. The ache of missing Molly is sharper than it ever was in Gene's world; he used to dull it with laughter and flirting and wine and teasing. Now he isn't here there is another pain to add to my torture. I would take being shot again any day; this pain it never dulls.

One day I am sitting in the bar, a tumbler with whisky in it sits in front of me; untouched. I can hear them talking about me.

"I'm worried about Alex." Sam mutters.

"She's depressed." Annie replies. I like Annie; I like all of them, I long to be friends with them all but I'm trapped by longing for another face to join that group, a tall man with piercing blue grey eyes and a blonde hair, a man who inexplicably has wormed his way into my soul and won't leave.

"She's supposed to be in heaven." Ray sighs; I give a little half laugh. Ray is the only one who ever comes close to piercing my little bubble. His bluntness reminds me so much of Gene.

"RAY!" Shaz shouts angrily, I grin again.

"She needs help." Sam carries on as if no one had talked in between his last sentence

"She's unhappy." Oh Chris, such naivety.

"It's the Gov; she misses him, even if she won't admit it. Something happened the night before we left, I'm telling you. They loved each other; anyone with a pair of eyes could see it, although they'd never admit it." Shaz says. She always had such clear vision. Saw everything. Gov should have given her a promotion so much sooner. But before I can move onto to actually dwelling on what she said my mind blocks the subject.

"_I _never saw it." Chris objects.

"Well you wouldn't." Sam murmurs. His comment breaks through my barriers and a half smile tugs at my lips.

"Did you see it Ray?" Chris half begs, wanting his mate to back him up.

Ray remains in uncomfortable silence.

"Ray?" Chris persists.

"I just thought he liked how she looked; I didn't think it went any deeper but... Shaz is right Chris. When I went to the restaurant the Gov told me to go away, said Alex had something for him, and he thought it would be a lot more interesting than what I had. I didn't think about it at the time but he looked like he could punch me when I showed him the dynamite and he disappeared from Luigi's when we got there but his car was still there when we left. Then they were so mad the next morning. I don't about love but something happened." I am amazed at Ray, he never normally says so much at once. I can tell by his tone at the word love that he can't bear to think of his Gov, his mate to be in love. I smile again.

Chris remains silent.

"Oh come on Chris, even you could have seen how much they flirted! And she was always teasing him, and they always drank together in the evenings!" Ray explodes.

"I suppose." Chris mutters. I stand up abruptly. Crying in public is still not something I enjoy. I hurry up towards my room and collapse on my bed when I get there, stuffing my face against my pillows to muffle my sobs.

Later that evening, I am, once again (oh I adore torturing myself) downstairs in the bar, separate from the others who are sitting at a table, cards have been dealt but aren't being played. Suddenly Sam stands up and slams his hands down on the table. I look up briefly but my view is blocked by and elderly man and a younger man. I look back down to my drink. About ten minutes later I realise there is no productiveness in me sitting here and I stand up, intending to leave quietly but Ray's voice slips out towards me.

""Don't tell me you are gonna start coming out with that psycho bollocks too Sam?" Ray moans.

"It's psychology Ray and as far as I know DI Tyler is not a trained police psychoanalyser, no. I'm off to bed. See you lot later." I say as I arrive behind Annie's chair, something making me feel more cheerful than I have done since I arrived. I glance at the two strangers and the younger one smiles at me briefly but for some reason my eyes slide away again almost immediately.

"How long have you been there?" Sam asks, sounding worried. He sounds like a parent worrying their child has heard them say a bad word, or perhaps overheard him discussing their Christmas present.

"Only long enough to hear Ray complain at you. I'm going to bed." I reassure him as I leave and go up the stairs, grabbing a blanket and curling up on my sofa to watch a film, feeling my most cheerful in ages. I can't understand why, but my mind keeps returning to that strange pairing, the elderly man and the young man whose smile made the room seem brighter, I can't remember the details of them, my eyes were almost forced away from them when I looked, like a perception filter in Doctor Who. Molly loved that show, and I didn't mind watching it with her. I have always had a bit of a thing for David Tennant. I grin again.

Later that night I wake up from a nightmare. My good feeling has evaporated into the night. I hear a knock on the door. Dragging my fingers through my messy hair and straightening my crumpled shirt I go to the door, vividly reminded of the many times Gene crashed unceremoniously through that door and into my flat, so similar in the way I crashed into his life. But it isn't Gene who stands at the door; it is Sam looking tired and weary. I welcome him in. We sit on the sofa, talking for a while and I realise that Sam is suffering too, he misses his best friend.

"You really did love him, didn't you?" Sam smiles sadly at me.

"Seems strange doesn't it? That misogynistic, alcoholic, not that I'm one to talk," I admit quickly "smoking, over the hill man. Why did I love him? He was so different from every man I had ever met, he flirted unashamedly, he could make me smile, he shouted when he was mad, he gave me wine, he talked to me, he carried me to my bed when I was too pissed to walk, he saved me so many times. He misogynistic, prejudiced, borderline alcoholic, violent and foul mouthed. But yes, I did love him." I sigh, staring down at my hands. I miss him so much it hurts.

"I am so sorry Alex." Sam apologises and I hear the pain in his voice too.

"Me too Sam, me too." I reply. We are quiet for a moment, lost in our thoughts

"It seems strange, while I was in his world I longed for Molly, while I was in the real world I longed for him. Now I'm here and I long for both of them. Strange kind of heaven." I tilt my head back, wondering if the tears that prick at my eyes might slide back down my throat and wash away the lump that sticks there day and night.

"Alex, can you come downstairs with me? There's someone who wants to meet you, two people actually." Sam asks me suddenly.

"Who?" I ask, interested, wondering if it's that strange pairing I was thinking about earlier.

"The manager of the pub and his son, they were..." Sam pauses as though he's uncertain how to phrase it. "drinking with us earlier. They wanted to meet you."

"Good, I want to meet them too, can I tidy myself up a bit." I gesture at myself "I'm not looking at my best."

"You look fine to me, but yeah." Sam blushes slightly when I raise my eyebrows at his comment. I smirk and go into my room. Five minutes later I come out with my makeup and hair redone and my favourite blue off-the-shoulder top, skin tight jeans, boots and a white leather jacket.

"Ready." I smile at Sam.

"Did you wear that back there?" Sam jerks his hand towards the window, indicating the other world.

"Quite often." I reply, glancing down at my outfit. "Why? Is there something wrong?"

"No... I bet the Gov loved seeing you in that."

"He sure did." I grin flirtatiously at Sam and walk out the door, swinging my hips. Sam laughed, shutting the door behind me.


	4. Chapter 4 A terrible truth

**Hello! A little more for you here. I hope everyone is enjoying it. This is the last chapter in Alex's POV, next chapter it's in Alice's the main character really of this story. **

**Enjoy!**

**I've forgotten to say this in the others chapters but I do not own Ashes to Ashes, all the characters except Alice and the manager and his son belong to the BBC.**

I stop when I reach the stairwell, for a moment Sam had managed to make my depressing thoughts disappear and I had responded by flirting back. Gene was right; I really am a tart.

Sam smiles at me, clearly wondering why I am frozen at the top of the staircase. I shake myself a little and go down, and into the pub. It is practically deserted; there are one or two men slumped at the tables, fast asleep and that is it. Apart from, of course, the people I have come to see.

"Hello Alex." The older man smiles kindly at me, standing up and offering me his hand. I place my hand in his and he lifts it to his mouth, kissing it lightly. Normally this would freak me out a little but with this man it seems so natural I barely think to question it. The younger man stands as quickly as the elder, but he pulls out my chair and quickly goes to get me a drink. He comes back with a glass of red wine.

"I hope it's not too presumptuous of me Alex? This is what you normally drink I know." He smiles widely at me and then as he hands my drink to me our fingers brush and I am almost knocked out by the feeling that swamps me. A feeling of kindness, happiness and warmth, a feeling of friendship, belonging and love.

"Please do sit down DI Drake." The older man commands me softly. The please does not hide it, this man is a leader. His presence is just as powerful as the younger man's but his is more of power, a leader but completely trustworthy.

_Who are these people? _I wonder; the way they make me feel is indescribable.

"If it doesn't sound too rude, which I hope it doesn't, who are you?"

"I am the manager of the pub, and this is my son."

"Hello Alex." The young man laughs. It is a sound of such joy that I am once again dumfounded by this strange pair.

"DI Tyler, could you leave us for a few moments?"

"Of course sir. I'll be talking to Nelson if you need me."

"So, DI Drake. You are unhappy here." He really doesn't beat about the bush this guy, does he?

My wine glass is over full. I sip the top without picking it up, like a child with a hot chocolate. "Yes. I am unhappy. I know I should be but I'm missing the people that made me happy."

"Gene and Molly."

"Yes."

"If you had to choose one of them to go back to. Who would you choose?"

I stare at him in horror. He can't seriously be asking me this?

The younger man elbows him. _"Dad!" _He whispers, mortified. He sounds so much like Molly when I've embarrassed her that I smile faintly.

"I need to know. I'm sorry DI Drake but you need to answer me." He continues smoothly.

"Just try and analyse it like you would a case Alex, detach yourself from it." The younger man speaks soothingly to me.

"Detach myself from it?" I ask squeaking a little in my horror.

"Yes." He says, still soothing and his voice calms me a little.

"I love Molly. She needs me. I'm her mother. I'm supposed to look after her, she can be looked after by Evan well enough, I know that but she needs a mother. Girls need their mothers. Gene doesn't need me, not really. He'll have other DIs, he's stronger than Molls and me. I'd go to Molly." My voice is monotonous but tears leak down my cheeks, my heart breaking.

The younger man reaches across and grabs my hand. The older man passes me a handkerchief. His eyes portray a glimpse of his sorrow and I realise I would need to be much older, and have gone through so much more pain to even begin to be able to understand his pain. "I'm so sorry Alex but I need to know." I accept his offering, believing every word that he says.

"If we could offer you a chance to go back to Molly, would you take it?"

"Of course." I sniff a little, wiping my face with the handkerchief he handed me, staining it black with my mascara.

"If someone had to be sacrificed, if someone had to die for it?"

"Who would die?" I ask, my voice shaking.

"Say a friend of hers, her best friend. A child of 15 years."

"No. Never. I love Molly but I am not killing a child to go back to her." I say, almost venomously. Who does this man think I am? "And I wouldn't kill an adult either. I couldn't live with myself!"

"Thank you DI Drake."

He gives me a moment to compose myself. I sip my wine until my breathing has steadied and then I ask "Why did you need to know?"

"Your friend DI Tyler decided that he was sick of you and his once while DCI sitting there defeated, alone and unhappy. He decided you deserved another chance. Along with his friends he has arranged a chance for you to go back to DCI Hunt."

I can't think. I can't speak. I can't even breathe. When I finally manage to get some words out they are not the ones I wanted.

"What about Molly?"

"You could never go back to her DI Drake, I'm sorry but that doorway is closed. I promise you though Molly will be safe and looked after."

"Then yes. Yes I would go back." The words fall from my mouth but I feel unreal, floating inside._ I'm going back to Gene. _

The older man stood up, and went towards the bar and Sam. The younger man stared at me.

"Strange thing isn't it? Love I mean. Even when they hurt you, and when you argue and they wind you up. Even when you ought to hate them, you want nothing bad to happen to them. You want nothing more than for them to smile at you, for them to be safe."

"Yes. It is strange." I reply, giving up on excuses. This man seems to know me the way Evan does, better. I know I have barely known him five minutes and it is not so much in the way he has spoken to me but the way I feel around him, relaxed, and the way we interact so lightly. There's a saying or something that exactly describes how I'm feeling but I can't remember it for the life of me so I let it slide.

Sam and the older man come back. "So DI Drake, would you like to know how exactly we plan to return you to your DCI Hunt?" I notice the possessive pronoun in front of DCI Hunt. Gene would hate that, belonging to me. I smile inwardly and nod. "If DI Tyler would care to explain?" He pulls up another chair for Sam who immediately drops down onto it and smiles at me like an excited ten year old.

"Well, basically we need someone to go into that world that doesn't belong there, because you've moved on and if there's someone there who doesn't belong it means they can leave but they leave space for you. You can't go straight back because well, I don't really understand but there isn't room for you really because you've already been there and come in here."

"Who would go?" I ask, trying to tie down the excitement building inside me.

"A child." The younger man says calmly.

_What the hell?_

"Your daughter's best friend; Alice Moorland." The older man finishes his son's sentence.

I stand up and my chair falls backwards. I let out a long list of expletives. _Gene would be proud of me. _The completely irrelevant thought flickers through my head. I blink back the tears. _I can never be with him_.

"How could you think I would let a child into that hard, screwed-up world? Just to save me?"

"And Gene." The younger man reminds me. Sam is silent, his face looks ashamed.

"YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT HIM! HE WOULD NEVER LET AN INNOCENT CHILD GO THERE JUST TO SAVE US!"

_Us. Us. Gene and me. Us. Together._

"HOW COULD YOU EVER THINK HE WOULD ALLOW THIS? YOU KNEW HIM FOR SEVEN YEARS! SEVEN YEARS!" I yell, my fury undisguised at poor Sam.

I slap him furiously across the face and tears begin to stream down my own. Sam grabs my hands and pulls me into his arms, my shaking frame relaxing into him. When they have calmed me down sufficiently for me hold a glass without dropping it Sam pours me another glass of wine.

"Alex?"

I freeze as the older man says my name. He has always referred to Sam and me by our titles; DI Drake and DI Tyler. Gene only ever used my name in serious situations. I have a feeling this man is the same.

"What if to bring her to DCI Hunt's world was the only way to save her?"


	5. Chapter 5 Introducing Alice

**I am not very happy with this chapter. It is mostly filler and it is the first thing I wrote of the fic (I have in fact written most of it and I'm just editing it slightly when I put it on here) so please be kind! There is unfortunately another chapter or so of this drivel so please stick with me!**

**Thanks everyone who has reviewed. **

**ScottishRose, you are right I did intend it to be God and Jesus, it is heaven and I couldn't help it; it could be interesting. Anyone who doesn't like it just interpret it anyway you like. I am religious and it has a tendency to leak into my writing. **

**I don't Life on Mars (sadly) or Ashes to Ashes (even more sadly) . The only characters here I have invented are Alice and her grandparents and Will.**

**Please review! They make me happy. It doesn't take long just to say what you thought!**

**Enjoy (possibly)**

_Has anything ever happened to you that totally changed the way you see the world? A single thing that makes you doubt your sanity? A single moment and nothing is ever the same again. _

When I was fifteen my life changed like that; forever, one moment and nothing was ever the same, everything I thought I knew was gone. I suppose though, it didn't start when I was fifteen. I guess, really it started much earlier than that. In 2006 maybe, or perhaps even earlier, but the beginning for me (although I was unaware of it at this point) was when my best friend Molly's mother went into a coma because she had been shot. She was in the coma for two years but when she woke up she sent Molly away after about a fortnight. She fell back into a coma about 2 months after she woke up from her first. She never woke back up. I really liked Alex. She was funny and kind. She gave me lifts and took Molly, Will and I out. She took us swimming quite a few times and once she took us on a day out round London. She was always really busy but if she ever saw me she'd always came over and say Hi. She was a Police Officer, a DI. She was also a psychologist.

That was the beginning, but the moment that it truly started for me was almost two years later but it wasn't until a year later, when I was fifteen that my life truly changed forever. (I'm sorry. This must seem so confusing but there are so many places where it could have started, I just can't pinpoint them down.) But I'm getting ahead of myself. Let me start at the beginning.

The first time Molly's mum, Alex, went into a coma Evan looked after Molly. He's really nice as well. He's Molly's godfather, and he's Alex's too, he looked after her when she was little and her mum and dad died after someone set a car bomb off under their car. He spoils Molly loads, and once when I was round at their house he came over and he had bought a Rubik's cube for Molly, when he saw I was there too he went out and bought me one too. He taught us how to solve them. After Alex died he got custody of Molly. I was really pleased, like I said he's really nice. Molly hardly knows her dad and besides, he lives on the other side of London so she couldn't have kept coming to our school, whereas Evan lives quite near.

About a week after Alex first woke up from her coma Molly invited me and Will round to her house. (Molly, Will and I are best friends) Will couldn't come but I still went. Alex picked me up from my house in the car. Molly and I were in the back, chatting about something or other, looking at the internet on her blackberry. "Hey, Molls, look up the news, I want to see what's going on in the world." I'd said.

"Ok." Said Molly, she scrolled through her favourites and found the BBC news page. She passed me her phone. I was looking at a story about some scientists trying to isolate the genes that give us hereditary diseases. "So what's the main story then?" she asked me.

"These scientists are doing a gene hunt-" I replied. I didn't get a chance to finish before the car jolted and Molly screamed.

"MUM!"

"Sorry girls; cramp." Alex apologised a little shakily. I would have believed her if her voice hadn't shook so, and when we got to their house she went straight to her room and when she came out to make tea her eyes were outlined with red. Something was going on; something weird. I put it down to the fact she'd just come out of her coma. Next week Molly was sent to her dad's.

I never saw Alex again.

The funeral was horrid. I stood beside Molly, who was crying. I was trying so hard to be strong for her but I couldn't; I was crying too. Will wasn't actually crying but his face was grim and he sniffed and rubbed his eyes quite a bit.

I helped Molly to clear out their old house. Wasn't sure if it was a good idea but she had begged. She needed a friend she had insisted. Will had wanted to help but they were going up to Glasgow that weekend, it was his uncle's 50th birthday party. We were clearing out the hose because Molly would be living with Evan now. I came into Alex's bedroom and found Molly sitting on the bed looking totally blank, a photograph in her hand. I only needed to look at her once to know that right now what she needed was to be left alone. I closed the door quietly and went into Alex's office. Evan was downstairs drinking endless cups of coffee. I felt like intruder. I sat against the door and put my head in my hands. Alex was gone, so totally gone. Never coming back. Death had never seemed so infinite before. Never ending; an endless silence and absence. I started to clear out Alex's desk, putting stationary etc in a box, waste paper in the bin. Other more personal things I left as they were. I turned to the filing cabinet. It was locked. I remembered a small key that had been in one of the drawers of the desk. It was the filing cabinet key. Most of the stuff was Alex's work, psychology papers, a laptop, some invoices, all the kind of stuff that's in my parents' filing cabinet at home. Nothing that interesting. At least, not until I reached the bottom drawer. It was full of things for Alex's 'book'. I'd finally finished organising the papers. I hadn't thrown away any of the paper in the filing cabinet, just put it into more boxes and labelled them FILING CABINET, someone else could sort out that. I sat down besides the filing cabinet, the bottom drawer was still open, I was just about to close it when I realised that the bottom on the inside was higher than the depth of the drawer itself. I ran my hands over the false bottom, and sure enough near the back there was a small hole. Slipping my finger into it I lifted the bottom and I have to admit my heart was racing a bit. This was all very 'Spooks'. What could Alex have had that could possibly need hiding in a secret compartment of a lockable filing cabinet? I was disappointed; it was just a thick box file, like the ones that were on the bottom of the shelf of the book shelf beside the filing cabinet. I opened it; there was just a load more paper, and a pen drive. I read some of the first page.

Oh.

My.

God.

Molly could never read this. She must never, ever find it. Evan couldn't either.

Think, think. How could I get this out of the house without either of them becoming suspicious? Then I had an idea. I ran down the stairs.

"Hey, Evan. This sounds really bad, but I was wondering if I could have one of the box files from Alex's office? Only they can be quite expensive and I need one for my coursework." I held my breath.

"Of course Alice. I certainly don't need any more and it's not like Alex does." He said the last part with a sad smile on his face.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome. If there's anything else, that isn't personal I mean, just ask. You've been such a great friend to Molly." This made me feel guilty, until I reminded myself I was doing this for Molly. I put the file in a plastic bag and put the pen drive in my pocket.

The next day I was in my room reading. I hadn't read the file. I didn't want to. I wanted to remember Alex as she always used to be. Not as a lunatic. My phone beeped.

Thanx 4 yesterday Molz x x

_Should I tell her? I mean it's about her mother for God's sake._ I was confused, totally uncertain about what to do. I took it yesterday because I didn't want her memory of her mum to be tarnished with the worry she was insane, and from the first page it sure looked like it. I wanted to forget too; I wanted my memory of Alex untarnished.

I text Molly back

No probs im ur best mate rnt i? Ly xxx

The next two years of my life is a period I would rather forget. It is important though, in my story, so I will tell you a little, not much however. It still hurts to remember it.

I was on my way back from my Grandparents. They live in Lancaster. I'd spent the week with them because quite by unfortunate chance my half term week was the same week both my parents had to go away; my father to a conference in Brussels and my mother on a whole week course in Bristol. So I was packed off to my Grandparents' house. I wasn't complaining, I loved them and they always spoilt me rotten!

I sat down in my seat on the train. So far I had the compartment to myself. I pulled out my iPod and put it on shuffle, pulling out The Book Thief by Markus Zusak. I had about 5 minutes before the train pulled out from the station. Just as we pulled out a man appeared at the doorway. I paused my iPod and pulled out my earphones and I slipped a bookmark into my book.

"Hello." He smiled kindly at me. He wasn't very tall and wore a grey suit with a long jacket. He had round owlish glasses. He was very pale skinned and had jet black hair.

"Hi." I replied, nervously.

"Sorry. I'm meant to be sitting there." He gestured to the seat opposite me. "If you feel uncomfortable with me I'm sure I can find somewhere else to sit. It's not a problem." He smiles at me again. I blush, feeling stupid.

"Of course you can sit there. It's fine."

"Thank you very much." He sits down and we both sit in silence for while, him staring absent mindedly out of the window, me pretending to read my book, sneaking glances at him and not quite daring to put my earphones back in.

"So." The man opposite finally said after about 20 or so minutes of this "Are we going to talk or are we going to spend the rest of the journey with you half reading your book and glancing at me and me staring out of the window feeling unbelievably bored?"

I blush furiously. "Talking sounds good." I slip my book into the bag at my feet. "My name is Alice. What's yours?"

"My name is James." He answers leaning forward slightly and extends his hand. I shake it.

"So Alice. Where have you been?"

"At my grandparents. You?"

"I was at Manchester first then I went to Lancaster to see a friend in the hospital there. Now I'm back home to London."

"Why were you in Manchester?" I cringe as soon as the words leave my mouth; so rude!

James just smiles at me. "I'm a police officer, a DCI. I work in D and C-"

"D and C?"

"Discipline and complaints. We aren't liked much I'm afraid." He laughs ruefully. "We are like the police force within the police force."

"Cool."

"Really?"

"Yeah, someone has to do it! Anyway, what about Zacchaeus?" There I go again. He probably won't even get it. Oh I'm so stupid.

"Luke 19. A good comparison, everyone hated him. Although he deserved it."

"I didn't mean that you were err..." I blush again.

"I know, it's alright. Besides, we're all sinners are we not?"

"Yes, I suppose we are. How did you know the exact verse?"

"My upbringing. I must know almost every verse."

"Wow... Not many people can do that! Even our priest needs a bible." I laugh, astounded.

"Well it comes in useful for impressing strangers on trains." He laughs back.

We talk for quite a while until I feel a prickle up my back, my head is spinning and my throat is dry. "It's boiling in here." I mutter fanning myself with my hand.

"It is, I hadn't noticed. I'm used to the heat, I always have the temperature right up in my office; poor circulation. I'll open the window." He stands up, pushing it open and a cool breeze floats through the stifling air. "Have a drink." He passes me the water bottle from my bag. A little later I fall into a restless sleep. Nightmares flicker through my head.

I awake to someone gently shaking me. "My stop Alice. I didn't want to wake you but I didn't want you to sleep past your stop."

"Bye." I mutter groggily.

"Have a nice life."

"You too James. Who knows, maybe I'll see you again one day."

"Maybe." He lifts his hand and is gone.

For the next two years of my life I retract into myself. Depression some called it. I didn't, I just couldn't be bothered to talk or react to anyone. Trapped more like. Trapped within myself. I often saw my friends and family talking worriedly about me but I couldn't be bothered to challenge them about it. I saw some psychiatrists but none of them could diagnose or fix me. I carried on; locked within a prison of my own making.


	6. Chapter 6Freedom at a price

**I hope this character improves on the last one. This is for Rachel for annoying me until I put up the story and reminding me to put up this chapter. I have put this up several times because i kept on spotting errors. ¬_¬ Sorry! Thanks to my friend for rereading and rereading until I got it right!**

**By the way, check out Rachel's (LionessOfTheQuattro) stories, Hazy Days and Unknown Nightmares. They are both awesome and far outshine my writing. **

**I promise once I have put this up I will go hunt for your muse!**

**Enjoy and Happy New Year!**

Finally one night I am woken by my mother crying downstairs. I creep down to see my dad holding her.

"What are we going to do David? We waited, like you said. We tried but I'm not sure she's in there anymore. My little girl has gone. The girl upstairs is just a shell." She is crying and my dad starts to speak to her but I am so shocked I just go back upstairs to bed. I sit there in my bed and after a little while I hear my parents go to bed.

I still sit there. Suddenly a tidal wave of emotion hits me. I am terrified. I want to cry, to scream. I want to call out for my mum, but I can't. I do the only thing I can think of.

"Please God. Please help me." I call out inwardly, begging for someone to come and take the pain away. Suddenly there are two people in my room. A man (he was quite handsome actually), wearing a leather jacket, and Alex. I just gape at them.

"She's beaten you. She's won. You've lost." says the man. I stare at him, and I feel a presence behind me, a prickle on the back of my neck. I see a shadow streaming out across my room. I don't turn, I am too scared.

"She was too strong for you. Like I was. Like Gene was." Alex has difficulty saying Gene but her words are commanding. She looks so powerful standing there, so assured.

"Go to Hell" She says quietly, saying a name at the end I don't quite catch.

There is a hiss behind me and the shadow has gone. I have my voice back. I feel free. The presence behind me has gone. And the dead feeling inside has gone.

"Thank you." I whisper. "Thank you so very much."

"It's alright." Says the man.

"Who are you?"

"My name is Sam Tyler."

"Oh." I turn my attentions to Alex. "Hello Alex. It's good to see you. Thank you, for coming to help." I sound a bit odd to myself.

"My pleasure." She replies. She sounds tired, she smiles at me. I can see that she is happy to see me, but she looks tired, and her eyes are still rimmed with red. "Tell Molly I love her." She says, she opens the door, and leaves. Sam however is still standing there.

"We helped you. One day, I'm not sure when, you will need to help us. Help Alex."

"She's unhappy." I state the obvious, remembering her red rimmed eyes.

"Yes. She left behind someone she loves."

"Molly?" I ask quickly, certain I know the answer.

"No. You haven't read that file, have you?" Sam asks earnestly, his handsome face serious.

"No, I didn't want my memory of Alex tarnished, plus it looked... private." I try to phrase it delicately in case Alex is still listening. Saying it made her look like she was crazy is not the high point of tact.

"Fair enough. Not yet, but one day read it. You'll know when." Sam grins at me, like he knows what I am thinking

"Ok." I give him an inadequate reply

Sam goes to my door. "Goodbye. He won't trouble you again. If he does or you ever have any other trouble, just call."

"Thank you" I say. Then he has gone. I snuggle back down in my bed. "I'm back" I whisper to myself. "_I'm back_."

When I wake up, there is no one in the house. My parents have gone to work. This bothers me slightly, until I remember that for the last two years I probably wouldn't even have noticed. It is 10 o'clock. I have breakfast, and then have a shower. Then I phone Will.

He picks up. "Hello." He sounds cautious, and slightly worried. This is no surprise, seeing as I wouldn't have thought to phone him if I was still like I was before. The only reason anyone from this number would be calling him would probably be to bring bad news.

"It's me." I say. "It's Alice. I'm back." There is a loud crash at the other end. I presume this is the phone being dropped, I hear the sound of someone running down the stairs very fast, and then faintly I hear Will say "I don't care if we are doing something today. I'm, going out. Here, mum, have a phone." Then I hear "Shoes, shoes, shoes." Then a door slamming. "He hasn't even hung up." I hear Will's mum say, then the phone cuts out. I laugh.

About five minutes later the doorbell is ringing desperately. I go and open it. Will is there, panting slightly. I see him properly for the first time in ages. He doesn't half look bad, in fact, he looks quite fit.

"Hello Will. Want to come in?"

"You really are back." He says, and his face splits into a grin.

"Yep. I sure am." I grin back at him. He steps towards me, and I move back to let him in. Except he pulls me towards him and kisses me. I am totally shocked. It never occurred to me that he would like me, not after the way I was acting. I thought he and Molly might have got together. I realise how much this would have upset me and I kiss him back.

The next year passes. I am happy now. Life is good. Sometimes I think about the file under my bed, and Sam and Alex. I try not to. I pretend to myself that it must have been my brain tricking me to pull me out of my pit.

Until one afternoon in my summer holidays.

I am now fifteen years old and Molly, Will and I are still friends. I am lying in the park with Molly and Will and some of our other friends; we have spent the day here, like we often do. Just talking and eating ice cream. Relaxing in the warmth. I semi close my eyes, staring up at the green light of the sunlight through the leaves. Someone says my name. I open my eyes properly, and sit up. Molly, Will, Matthew and Isobel are lying down with their eyes closed too. I think Will and Isobel are actually asleep. Mickey, Caitlin and Landon have gone off to get us some drinks from the small cafe at the edge of the park, they are nowhere in sight. Someone says my name again. I turn round and I see Sam standing beside the tree trunk.

"It's time Alice. It's time for you to help. You have to read that file Alice." I stare at him but then I blink, and he has gone.

That night when after dinner I crawl under my bed and get the file out. I read all the sheets, and I put the pen drive in my laptop. It is password protected; I try a couple of times, with Molly, Alex, all those kinds of things. I sit there frustrated for a few minutes, but then I remember that time in the car, so very long ago and I try something else. It works. There is a lot of research, files typed up on Sam, and some audio files. I listen to them.

I lie in bed long after my parents have gone to bed. I am terrified.

Everything has changed.

**I know this is short and not particularly good but I need to rewrite the next bit and I wanted to put some story up on New Year's Day! I'll try not to take too long.**


	7. Chapter 7 Revelations

**I would like to say first how sorry I am that this has taken so long. I have a long list of excuses why it has taken so long but really there's only one reason; my laziness! Sorry it has taken so long and thank you if you're still reading this. I hope you enjoy! Italics is handwriting. On word it's all in different fonts but that doesn't show up here :(**

I wake up; bleary eyed around 10 in the morning. I roll out of bed and have breakfast, then have a shower.

I change into light, loose clothes. The weather outside is hot and stifling. I sigh, running a hand through my hair as I flick through the TV channels. There is nothing on TV and I am bored stiff; Molly has been on holiday and is coming back today and it's band practice day. Basically I'm stuck at home all day. I consider going swimming but feel too lethargic.

There is a knock on the door. I check the time; about quarter past eleven, it's probably the postie. I stand up and go to the door. A man stands in our porch, wearing tight jeans, a wide collared shirt and a leather jacket; he's holding a large box in his hands. "If you could sign for this please miss." He says; his voice low. I sign it; without properly looking at his face. I give it back to him and take the box from his arms; our fingers accidentally touch, and I mutter; "Sorry." Glancing up at his face I nearly drop the box.

"Sam!"

"I was wondering if you'd ever recognise me." He laughs quietly. "May I come in?"

"Of course." I walk backwards with the cumbersome box, it's heavy and I stumble slightly. Sam rushes in and grabs the box with one hand; steadying me with the other.

"You ok?"

"Fine." I blush fiercely and put the box down in the hallway. "Would you like something to drink?"

Ten or so minutes later Sam is relaxing against the kitchen cabinets, cupping a cup of tea in his hands. I'm sitting awkwardly at the kitchen table, taking small sips of the glass of water.

"So." Sam says eventually. "Down to business?"

"Yep." I agree "What's in the box?"

"Why don't you go look?" Sam suggests. Feeling like a little child at Christmas I do as he says. Sam, swallowing the last of his tea follows me. I kneel in the hallway, opening the flaps of the box. It's full of video tapes and files.

"What are these?" The answer to the question is obvious but that isn't the answer I'm looking for.

"Tapes and files." Sam says slowly like I am a very small child. I give him a pointed look. He looks at his shoes. "They're explanations for an unhappy ending." He said eventually, his voice quiet, grating.

"There are millions of unhappy endings in the world. What's different about this one?" I ask, after a few minutes of flicking through the files at the top of the box.

"It wasn't supposed to happen."

"What do you mean?"

"It's hard to explain."

"Then try."

"It's easier to show you." Sam gestured at the box. "Have you got a video player?"

"Yes."

It the only time I have ever wished to be back in my 'depression state'. At least there I was numb; I couldn't feel the pain. I barely knew these people but what they had been through shook me to the core.

The files; the videos were all about them. Pictures of them too, the reports Keats wrote. I cry a lot that day; but not more than when Sam shows me the last video.

"Why me?" I ask through the silent tears streaming down my face, when the picture of Gene alone outside the pub fades to static. "Why did you choose me to help? I'm nothing; I'm just a kid! How can I help?" I begin to sob.

Sam looks at me; his face is so sad, like he's watching someone he loves die and he can't do anything to stop it.

"It was the only way we could save you." He said heartbreakingly softly.

"What does that mean? Sam? _What does that mean?_" Panic floods through me. "Sam! _Sam!"_

I wake up with tears on my face. The phone is ringing. I climb off the sofa, casting aside the blanket that I had been tucked under and answer it. "Hello darling."

"Hi HHjdoejiiiiiHi Mum." I say, disorientated, looking around for any signs of Sam.

"I'm on my way home now."

"Okey Dokey." I say, walking through to the hall. The box is gone, the door locked and my key on the shelf beside the front door; where it belongs.

"Could you have me a cup of tea ready? It's been a hell of a day."

_No kidding._

"Course mum! See you soon."

"Thanks darling. Love you."

"Love you too." I put down the phone and run upstairs; grabbing a sports bag, my swimming costume and a towel. I run some water over the swimming costume; making it damp, then wrap it in the towel. I put it into the bag and drop it at the bottom of the stairs. I then put the water on the boil. Then I continue my search for any evidence of Sam. Two plates, a glass and a cup sit on the draining board, our lunch and his cup of tea. I hadn't washed them; he must have done. There was also the blanket he must have wrapped around me when I fell asleep. But when did I fall asleep? _It was the only way we could save you. _What did that mean? I think; panic flooding me again. At that moment the kettle boils and I'm distracted by making the cup of tea for my mum.

I hear the door being unlocked just as I am putting the milk away. "Hello darling." My mum gives me an absent minded smile. She looks stressed.

"Hey mum. Bad day?"

"Awful day," she moaned "my boss was being absolute slave driver. Bloody eejit." I pass her the cup of tea, arranging my face into an expression of sympathy.

"What did you do today then darling?"

_I spent the day alone in the house with a man over twice my age, whom I let into the house to talk about how I could save my best friend's dead mum from eternal unhappiness. _

"I went swimming, read. I'm just at a really crucial point actually!"

She laughed "Ok, point taken. Go finish your book. Lasagne ok for tea tonight?"

"Perfect!" I was already half way up the stairs. I wasn't however going to finish my book. I was going to think.

I open my bedroom door and collapse on my bed. I twist around; trying to get comfortable but something is digging into my back. I sit up and realise I've been lying on a small envelope. I open it and in there is a small USB stick and a note.

_Sorry I had to leave and I'm sorry if I scared you. This memory stick has most of what I showed you today on it. _

_-Sam_

He's sorry if he scared me? What! He bloody terrified me. Trying to ignore my anger and panic I try to think clearly. He must mean when I was in my depression I tell myself firmly and move on from the subject; ignoring the part of my brain that is screaming at me that I know that is not the explanation.

I fell back against my pillows again; feeling lost and scared. In a matter of two days my life had been tipped upside down and I was rapidly losing track of reality. I pick up the memory stick and realise there is a short inscription on there.

**Don't lose yourself. **

I smile and go and get out the files. I flick through them; the smile fading from my face; the tears pricking at the back of my eyes again. I barely knew these people yet my heart is breaking at the thought of Gene Hunt alone in that strange purgatory.

_I love Molly, I really do. I'm glad to be back. Truly. I AM! I should be. I spent all my time there fighting to get back._

_So why is it that when Alice said gene hunt and was only talking about some scientific research I felt like someone had punched a thousand staples into my insides? Why as soon as we got home did I go straight to my room so I could cry? _

_Why is it that I dream about him every night? _

I flicked further on; two weeks after Molly had been sent away.

_I hate that stupid psychiatrist. I hate her. I hate how right she thinks she is. I'm a psychologist too! I understand it all. I just don't feel like I belong anymore. _

Further on.

_I AM GLAD TO BE HOME!_

_I LOVE MOLLY!_

_I WANT TO STAY HERE!_

Further on still.

_Maybe this is the 'real world' even if it doesn't feel as real as 'his' world. But it isn't my world any more. I don't belong._

The last page. Her last entry before she fell back into her coma.

_I do love Molly, truly I do and I'm honestly glad to be home. _

_So why do I feel devastated that I've stopped hearing Chris, Ray and Shaz's voices'?_

_Why do I feel so isolated and alone?_

_Why do I dream about him every night?_

_And why don't I want the dreams to stop?_

_And why do I think that if the dreams stopped I wouldn't be able to cope?_

I plug the memory stick Sam gave me into my laptop and open it. It's mostly pictures and videos with subtitles; Sam's opinions and notes. It shows Gene going back to Alex's flat and sitting on her sofa; drinking a glass of wine and listening to the tape he danced to; then when the song finished, washing the wine glass and placing the wine bottle by the sink; empty. He picks up the bin bag from inside the bin, turns off the lights and leaves; locking the door. A quiet finality. A last goodbye. The next clip is a man crashing into CID asking for his iPhone, Gene welcoming' him in. Sam's subtitles are in indignant capitals; HE SAID THE SAME THING TO ME ON MY FIRST DAY! I laugh to myself at his indignation.

There are some other videos too and I scroll through them sadly.

When I have finished I sit there and stare at my hands until Dad comes home and mum calls me to dinner. I play monopoly with them after tea. Then I go to bed and stare at my ceiling.

I believe in God. I'm a Christian and go to church twice a month; however I don't rigidly believe everything that is preached there. I have my own beliefs. I do believe however in a God that listens to you.

"Please God. Show me a way to help them. Or help me to forget. I know things like this happen all the time; people don't get their happy endings but please. Please help them." I sigh again.

When I wake up the next morning I wonder about how I could go back to Gene and try and sort it out. What stops me from trying to get run over or shot are these things:

I might get killed

I'm not a copper so I might not go to Gene's world

If for some reason I don't go into a coma I would be in so much trouble

Once you go to Gene's world you are dead

I don't want to die, I have too much to live for

I don't want to come back and have the whole 'This world doesn't feel as real' thing

"Currently this isn't sounding like such a good idea." I mused out loud. I still wanted to help them, but how?

"God you work in mysterious ways. Please help me to know what to do, and tell me if it isn't all real and I'm actually going insane... Thanks." I roll my eyes at myself and go to make myself breakfast.

I am sitting in front of the TV and drinking up the milk I didn't drink with the actual cereal when the TV makes a funny noise, a bit like kkkrghkk. The picture flickers and suddenly instead of a rerun of Doctor Who which I was watching before there is an old pub. There is laughter and a cheerful sounding black man serving the drinks.

I frowned; wondering if I had sat on the remote, I am just about to check when I notice it on top of the TV, I frown again. Then the picture pans out, and moves over slightly.

I almost have a heart attack.

I know those faces, it's Chris, Ray, Shaz, Sam and (I assume because I've never seen her before) Annie. They look worried and are clearly discussing something, I can barely hear because of the background noise. I strained my ears for a moment and then had the bright idea of turning up the volume. This does not improve matters much, but I can now catch some of the conversation rather than none of it.

"Worried about Alex." Says Sam

"Depressed." Annie murmurs.

"Supposed to be in heaven" that was Ray. I roll my eyes at him.

"RAY!" Yells Shaz, I heard that no problem.

"Needs help." Someone says, I don't catch who.

"Unhappy" I think that was Chris

"The Guv." Says Shaz but I don't catch the rest of that sentence.

They are talking about Alex. The picture moves again and it focuses on Alex, sitting at the bar staring at a whisky glass that clearly hasn't been drunk from. Her expression is blank and her eyes are red rimmed and have bags under them. If there is anyone who looks less like they are in heaven well then I'll be damned.

Then the TV makes the same noise as before (kkkrghkk) and The Doctor stares cheerily out at me from the screen.

Ok. Ok. Ok.

Calm down.

You're fine.

At least you know you're not insane now.

Probably.

You're fine, you're good, you're ok.

No I'm not.

.

Ok so now I'm fine.

"Thanks God, I assume that was your sign proving I'm not insane. However I'm also assuming you want me to do something. Show me what to do, and please, can it not involve me dying? Because I want to live, and I want to stay here and be happy."

I call Molly and Will up and ask if we can go see a film. They agree, and I am glad because I know full well I will probably go mad if I am forced to stay at home alone all day just mulling over this morning.

I found myself able to act totally normal around Molly, which surprised me slightly and, even more surprisingly I don't feel guilty and for the 6 hours we spent together I felt normal again.

This lasts until we are walking home. I am standing on the pavement outside Will's house as he searches through his pockets looking for his keys when someone drives into me. They were reversing and got the angle wrong or something. It knocks me over and I hit my head on the kerb. I could hear Will yelling at the man. The man was apologising and Molly was fussing over me. I opened my eyes to tell them I'm fine.

Except when I open my eyes I don't see Will and Molly and a late afternoon sky.

**Dramatic music! :) I hope you enjoyed and a review would hugely appreciated. I'll post very soon. Hopefully ;)**


	8. Chapter 8 A new Nickname

**Sorry, sorry, sorry! I feel so guilty. Sorry it took so long. In my defence (my only defence and it is a weak and pathetic one) I have had loads of exams. But here it is (finally) if anyone's still reading this enjoy! **

**And briefly I was reminded to update by an amazing video on YouTube called Stuttering, so thank you to 0345NoSleep whoever you are!**

::

I see a stranger and man I recognise but have never met. I see a mid morning sky and when I turn my head to see the car that hit me I see it. An Audi Quattro, red; except it doesn't have the number plate I associate with it. Instead of JLY 75IV there is a totally different one.

"Gene. What the hell? You knocked a kid over!" A voice fills my disorientated head. It's angry but I'm so confused it takes me a while to process his words. When I do I frown.

"I'm not a kid." I retort angrily.

"There we go then." said Gene, his voice recognisable despite the fact I've only heard him a few times on some videos. I stand up, mentally checking myself for injuries.

"You still knocked me over." I point out, brushing myself down; wincing at my taste in clothes. The other man laughs. I don't recognise him at all. He isn't the man who crashed into the office asking for his iPhone. I assume it the man after him or the man after that.

"Sorry. It was a mistake. Don't know how I managed it. You must have been in my blind spot." I raise my eyebrows at him.

I would like to say at this part that a little part of me was freaking out. The other part was doing cart wheels. 'I'm here; I can help' it says.

The other guy rolls his eyes. "It's a first, DCI Gene Hunt, apologising!" exclaims the other man. "I'm James Kingston. This is Gene Hunt. What's your name?"

"Alice, Alice Moorland." I offered the man my hand and winced.

"Are you ok?" James asked.

"I thought I was." I frowned, inspecting my elbow. I rolled up the sleeve of my ripped jumper to reveal a gash filled with grit.

"Ouch." James inspected it too. "How about this;" He proposed "we take you back to CID, patch you up and then give you a lift home? That way we can explain to your parents what happened."

I about to say 'sounds good' when Gene interrupts. "We are not a babysitting service!"

"Look at her elbow. That's your fault! You're the one who knocked her over" James whispered back, furious.

"We're not a hospital either." Growled Gene but when he saw my elbow he relented. "Maybe we should take you back to CID, a plonk'll patch you up."

"Thanks Sir." I replied, a tad cheekily.

"Get in." He said as he opened the door and pulled forward the front seat so I could climb into the back.

"All hail the mighty Quattro." I grinned. I was in the Quattro!

"What did you say?" He asked abruptly.

"Leave the poor kid alone." I heard James' voice faint from outside the car.

"I'm not a kid." I yelled. This time they both laughed.

When we got to CID there were several questions. Gene rather than answer them went straight to his office and poured himself a whisky.

"He knocked me over." I informed them all helpfully. At this there were several laughs (from the guys) and tuts and sighs (from the girls).

I was wondering how on earth I was supposed to bring up the subject of Alex, and how I was from the future and how I reckoned he must have 'done his time' as it were while a girl was patching up my elbow. She was picking out all the grit and cleaning the gash and dabbing in some antiseptic that hurt more than the cut itself. I was about to start a conversation when all the sounds of CID, the talking and the laughter faded out.

"Tell him Alice. Tell him." I could hear Alex's voice loud and clear.

"Tell him what?" I asked, frantically. Then I was back in CID with a worried plonk staring at me.

"Tell who what?"

"Tell Mr Hunt I'll get him for this. It hurts like hell." I grinned weakly.

"Are you ok dear? You look awfully pale."

"I haven't had anything much to drink today. Could I have a glass of water?"

"Of course." She smiled back at me "James! James! Could Alice here have a glass of water?"

"Sure!" He went over into the small kitchen area and I could hear the sound of water running. Gene had asked Alex out on a date there. What the hell could I do here? Gene was going to take me home soon; except I had no idea where home was or who I was in this world. How could I help them if I had no idea what way to go about it?

James gave me the cup of water "You all good?"

"I've had worse." I shrugged.

"So what do you think of CID?"

"It's cool." I replied. "It's exactly how I remember." James and the girl looked confused and I realised my mistake. "I mean, how the inside of a Police Station where my friend's mum works. My friend's mum was a DI. That's what I want to be when I'm older. That or an astronomer or a psychologist."

Gene had come over without me noticing. "Psychiatrist hey? I had a friend who was a psychiatrist."

I laughed. "Psychologist. It's psychology!"

He laughed too. "She always used to tell me off about that too."

"What happened to her?" I asked, pushing it. I wanted to know how he had explained Alex's disappearance. I also wanted to know how he had coped with it.

"She left" he said shortly.

"Oh." Not well at all then...

"So how is your elbow?"

"It hurts like hell." I told him bluntly.

"Yeah, sorry about that. If you're all patched up I'll take you home now and explain to your mum or dad."

I was about to object, but if I could get him alone maybe I could explain about Alex. "Ok." I grinned and hopped off my chair "Thanks!" I told the girl who sorted out my elbow.

Gene led me out to the Quattro, without talking. I was delighted, no one else was coming; I could bring up the topic of Alex.

"It's a great car." I told him (I was allowed to sit in the front this time) as I pulled on my seatbelt.

"It is." He agreed. I was about to bring up the topic of Alex but I couldn't resist a little teasing first.

"You aren't wearing your seat belt." I told him, mock seriously.

"I'm a DCI, not a girl guide."

"I'm wearing mine though. Is that allowed?"

"You're just a kid-"

"For the last time. I'm NOT a kid!"

"Well I you're not an adult and you're not a police officer and I'm giving you a lift after knocking you over so I'll make the exception."

"If I was a police officer would you tell me to take it off?"

"Probably."

"Did you tell" I was about to say Alex but I stopped myself just in time "your psychologist friend to take her seat belt off?"

"Yes. I did." I regret what I said as soon as he said that. The tone of his voice changed. It was like a door had been closed.

"Sorry."

"What for?"

"You miss her."

"I'm Gene Hunt. I don't miss her."

"I bet you don't dance either." I say, testing him again.

He looks at me, about to say something, but then his radio goes. "Hey Guv, we've got a body down at the canal, by the footbridge of St George's Street." It crackles.

"Looks like you might have to wait to go home." He says as he spins the wheel and did what I was sure is an illegal u-turn and made me glad I had put my seatbelt on. "Sorry kid."

I gave an exaggerated sigh and stared out the window. It looked like things were about to become interesting.

"Stay in the car." He said when we got to the scene of the crime.

"Why?"

"Because Kid, I said so." He said as he slams the door.

"I hate because I said so." I growled after him and I was about to follow but I noticed a hand lying in a pool of blood, the rest of the body hidden behind the police car.

I stayed put.

"It looks like a murder, pure and simple." Says Gene as he opens the door.

"Murders are never simple." James reminded him. Gene sighs and takes out a hip flask and takes a swig.

"You mind going in the back again Kid?"

"No problemo." I get out and get into the back.

"You ok coming back to CID with us for a while Kid? We've got a murder to solve and I haven't got the time to be a bloody taxi service."

"Suits me; I don't need to be back for a while." As well as I have no idea how to get back, but hey; details, details.

"That's good Kid because you won't be."

So I sit in the back and think about how the hell I'm supposed to tell him I know about Alex, and she loves him, and also what she meant by 'Tell him'.

I sit in a corner of CID getting more bored and more frustrated as time passes. Finally I ask if I could help. They look at me doubtfully but Gene shrugs "Let her help with ID-ing him. Gives her something to do and it speeds up the process."

"Why is she even here?" asks one man moodily. He didn't seem very happy at the idea of a kid in CID.

"Because I hit her with my car and I need to take her home and explain to her doting parents why their darling daughter has a huge gash in her elbow. Unfortunately we are in the middle of a murder investigation so I don't have time. Reason enough?"

The guy shrugged moodily and handed me some files, glowering. He was absolutely furious when I ID the guy.

"I think I've found him!" I shouted excitedly "Michael Elliot. 38, he was reported missing two weeks ago by his flat mate Thomas Ives. Address, Flat 7 Limetree House, Princes Street."

"Right James, Timothy, you get over there. Tell him his mate's dead, and bring him in make sure it is his mate. Find out enemies etc, anyone who might have wanted him dead."

"Ok Guv. Do you want us to take Alice home?"

Shit. Please no, no, no, no, no.

Gene glances at me. "Nah I'll do it later, I'm the one who knocked her over. I should explain."

"Whatever suits. Come on Tim" says James shrugging. He smiles at me as they leave.

"That ok Kid?" Gene asked me.

"Fine," I grin, "like I said I don't need to be home until later."

After a couple of hours going through files of local trouble makers I wasn't allowed to help with that, (classified information) so I just sat there, doodling and thinking. I sat in Alex's old place. There is a new desk. I am so tired, after all, it has been a very long day. I have woken up in a new world and help ID a murder victim, I've been knocked over by a car and I've tried to work out the impossible. Eventually I curl up underneath the desk on somebody's coat (I have a feeling its Gene's, it smells of smoke and I found a hip flask in it) which I nicked from the coat stand.

_It'll be ok Alice. We're here. It's going to be OK. You'll be OK._

_Molly has phoned the ambulance, it'll be here soon._

_You're parent's have been told too, they'll be at the hospital when you arrive._

_Hold on Alice. Hold on._

I sit up straight and whack my head on the desk. "Ouch" I yelp. CID is dark and silent. I crawl stiffly out from under the desk. I was worried they had left without me when I realised the light is on in Gene's office, he is sitting there, drinking, staring at something in his hand.

I go up to the door and knock it quietly before entering "Hello,"

"What the hell Kid? I thought you'd scarpered when no one took you home."

"No," I admit, as I rubbed my stiff neck "I fell asleep on your coat under Ale- I mean James' desk."

"You're parents will be furious, we'd better get you home."

"No." I say quietly.

"What?"

"No," I repeat more firmly, I could no longer be bothered prevaricating. "You can't take me home."

"Why the bloody hell is that?"

"Because I don't have one," I say, inspired "I ran away from home. My mum died when I was little, my dad drinks. He won't even have noticed I'm gone. My older sister can leave soon and my brothers can just about fend him off, but I couldn't, I was sick of it. When he got really pissed, he'd hit me. Sis was out too often, she camped out at her mates or her boyfriends when he came home too pissed, my two older brothers could tackle him and my younger brother was small enough to hide. I was the one he went for the most. Matthew and Billy would stop him if they realised, but they didn't always realise in time." Bloody hell where did that come from? I wonder to myself. "So I ran away. I can find somewhere to sleep most nights, and as long as I keep going to school no one asks any questions. I get along just fine."

Gene looked at me for a long moment before getting his coat. "Come on"

"What are you doing?" I ask nervously as he goes to the door "You're not going to take me to the police are you?" I realise there are so man pitfalls in my story.

"I am the police." He says as we walk along the corridor

"Social services?" We have passed the front desk.

"Bloody interfering gits." Out on the steps.

"So where are you taking me?" Outside his car.

"I'm taking you to Luigi's to get you a square meal and then I'll decide what to do with you."

"Ok." I smile, relieved. That gives me time, more than enough time.

"Good. Get in Kid." He opens the car door for me. As I get in I realise he has started to call me Kid. Well it's better than Bolly Knickers.


	9. Chapter 9 Dinner at Luigi's

**Um. Hey :) I may have not updated this since March. Possibly (it **_**can't **_**be that long; surely?) Whoops... I started to change this chapter into Gene's POV and I never finished it and then the months ran away. I'm so sorry guys! If anyone is still reading this; enjoy :)**

**::**

She is quiet as I take her to Luigi's. My anger at the father that neglected and hit her is irrational. She's just a kid I knocked over and suddenly I feel about her the way I've only ever felt about my team and, once upon a time, my wife? I don't understand.

Well maybe a part of me does but I am _really_ not thinking about that.

When we arrive in Luigi's it is virtually empty apart from a few couples, something I am thankful for. I watch, slightly amused, slightly confused by the ease at which she speaks the Italian she speaks to Luigi, although even I notice the pauses that give away it isn't her mother tongue. She gives a slight grin, probably at my expression which I know is an incredulous one.

"Ah, Mr Hunt! You finally bring someone culture to my restaurant. Why she with you?"

"I knocked her over in my car. I want a double scotch." I reply without emotion and ignoring Luigi's disapproving expression I leave her chatting to him and go over to mine and Bo-. My table. Christ, it's been over two years now and I still think like she's still around. I need to get a grip.

I hear her laugh and I look up; Luigi passes her a menu and disappears behind the bar. She walks over to me and sits down in Alex's chair. My chest tightens. I ignore it.

"What are you going to have?" She asks me, looking uncomfortable.

"Nothing. I'm just having a Scotch." I reply unhelpfully.

"Err, ok." She looks worried and I realise she doesn't know what to order. I decide to help.

"Alex always used to say the Carbonara was good. Never tried it myself." I offer.

"Thanks." She grins and her whole face lights up. Then something flickers in her eyes and it's like the light inside her has been turned off. I wonder what she is remembering.

Luigi came back with my scotch and turns to Alice. "Che cosa Hanno?"

"Avrò la Carbonara per favore, sta prendendo atto che, tranne il suo scotch." I recognise very few words in her sentence, please, Carbonara and Scotch. She rolls her eyes at Luigi and I get the feeling they're sharing a private joke.

"Buono, buono." He replies and is about the leave when Alice speaks again. In Italian... Are they determined to make sure I don't understand or something?

"Luigi, ho pensato che stavano andando? Sono venuto qui qualche tempo fa, mi sembrava di avere l'impressione che fosse stato lasciato un sacco di soldi, e tu eri tornare in Italia" She asks.

"Sì, ma ho deciso di tornare. Faccio meglio i soldi qui e dove mi sono trasferita a non erano molto amichevoli, ci fu un altro ristorante in città, e tutti passavano di là. Così sono tornato." He replies, glancing at me.

"Oh, Ok." She smiles easily and Luigi leaves.

I look at her suspiciously. "What were you talking about? I don't understand the eity lingo"

"Italy." She replies, looking slightly shifty.

It occurs to me that she probably has no idea what the 'eity lingo' is but I can't be bothered to explain myself to this kid who is unbelievable complicated and so much like Alex that it hurts. So I just reply rather inadequately. "Oh."

Neither of us spoke for a while, both of us lost in our thoughts.

"Was Alex the psychologist friend?" She asks, suddenly. She looks at me, her blue eyes piercing.

"Yeah, she was." I reply, then go quiet and look down at my scotch. My team get Alex is a no-go area but for some reason she doesn't.

"Godetevi signora," Luigi interrupts, bringing her dinner.

"Grazie Luigi" She smiles up at him. When he leaves she orders me; "Tell me about her."

"She was a right posh pain in the arse" I say firmly; meaning to leave it at that.

There is another silence in which I avoid her gaze and she eats her dinner.

Then suddenly I can't not talk about Alex because all I've done since she left is stay quiet and there is something about this kid that inspires my confidence. I know that I can trust her so I talk.

"She wouldn't take no as an answer, she came out with all sorts of psychiatry bollocks,"

"Psychology" She reminds me.

"She always used to correct me when I called it psychiatry too. She had a daughter called Molly. I don't know why she wasn't with her but she was always fighting to get back to her." I frown a little, and then continue "She did some really stupid things, once she locked us in an underground vault."

She laughs and I grin "Why were you in an underground vault?"

"It's a long story." I say evasively. Which in all fairness it is.

"How did you get out?"

"Chris, Shaz and Ray came to let us out."

"Chris and Ray?"

"DC Christopher Skelton and DI Ray Carling. Shaz was a uniform. They've... left too." I pause, feeling tired. Maybe talking wasn't such a good idea. I can feel the all too familiar ache in my chest re-awakening.

"What was it like in the vault?" She asks, looking desperate to know more.

I think for a long moment, there are so many words I could use. "Hot," I settle on finally. "Bolly took her shirt off." I keep my face blank but inwardly I am smirking.

"Bolly?"

"That's what I called Alex. She contradicted me, went against my orders, she was always convinced she was right. Thought she was above us all." I talk and part of me is angry, why can I never say the important things; the true things?

"Sounds like you really got on." She mutters sarcastically.

"I trusted her, and in the end she trusted me too. She was a good person under all that crap."

"What did she look like?" She asks and I freeze.

I don't know what to say. I can describe her easily, she is imprinted on the inside of my eyelids and she haunts my dreams every night, just out of my reach, sitting at her desk but whenever I call for her she ignores me, or walks off towards Keats. Besides the words never came to me the way they did to Bolly or Sam for that matter. I'd never do her justice. So I settle on the plain simple truth. "She was beautiful" I say in a low voice.

She pauses and stares forlornly down at her plate, seemingly lost for words. Something that surprises me because for the afternoon I have known her she has never been short for words before. "I'm sorry"

"What for?" I ask, surprised. _If it's for reminding me of Alex Kid don't worry. It happens on its own enough anyway. If anything you've been a distraction. _

Emotions flicker over her face. I can't read any of them and the slight feeling of unease I have been carrying around ever since I knocked her over increases. There is something about this girl that unnerves me.

"For causing you so much trouble. I'll go now." She says, looking sad, tired and, oddly, incredibly nervous. She stands and turns to go.

"No." I say loudly, shattering the quiet atmosphere of the restaurant. "Where will you sleep?"

"Somewhere."I'm not a police officer for nothing and I actually _did _listen to Bolly when she twittered on about body language. That girl is lying through her teeth.

"Where do you normally sleep?" I probe, watching as her eyes flicker over the mural behind my face, my face and her empty plate but never my eyes.

"At friends' houses, in churches, soup kitchens. All over the place." She says breezily.

"Well you won't tonight. There's a flat upstairs, you can sleep there." I say firmly, ignoring the twinge of doubt of how bad someone could make this look.

"Luigi" I call out loudly. "Kid is going to use the flat upstairs tonight. That ok?"

"Of course Signor Hunt. Buona notte."

I make my way towards the flat, knowing she is behind me without having to look. For the thirty or so seconds it takes us before we reach the flat I pretend it is Alex behind me. Pretend it's just another night when we'd taken a bottle of Luigi's house rubbish to her flat and I'd crashed on her sofa. Just another night...

"Who lives here?" She asks, looking round, her face questioning.

"No one. I sometimes come up here." I tell her shortly. Not telling her that I come up here when I am utterly pissed and I crash on her sofa and just for a while I can pretend she's still here.

"Did someone live here then?" She asks. Her eyes are drooping and I can tell her tiredness is slowing the quickness with which she normally links things.

"It was Alex's flat." I say heavily. "The bedroom is through there."

She looks at me for a long moment, takes that little breathe people always do before they speak but she doesn't say a word.

She does through to the bedroom and I can hear her opening drawers and things. I wonder what she'll choose to wear. She's quite tall so she wouldn't have too much difficulty finding something she can at least wear at night.

When she comes out she's wearing some slightly ill fitting pyjamas with a blanket wrapped around her shoulders.

"They were the only thing I could find that I felt like wearing." She says defensively "All her other night clothes were too," she pauses "grown up."

I laugh at that and think of Alex and it doesn't surprise me this girl doesn't want to wear any of Alex's clothes "I'll sleep in here tonight Kid." I pause and say somewhat awkwardly "I won't trouble you, I promise."

"Of course, I know that." She gives me a tired smile. Then she frowns slightly and I wonder if she's thinking the same as I am; this is not a very satisfactory arrangement.

"Good night Gene."

"Night Kid."

**::**

**I don't speak Italian. I can ask for water. That's literally it. It's off Google translate. It roughly means:**

**Good evening, how are you?**

**You speak my language?**

**Yes, we learn it at school.**

**Did he really knock you over?**

**That Mr Hunt. He is a menace.**

**What are you having?**

**I'll have the Carbonara please; he's having nothing, except for his scotch.**

**Luigi, I thought you were leaving? I came here some time ago, I seemed to get the impression you'd been left a lot of money, and you were going back to Italy.**

**Yes, but I decided to come back. I make better money over here and where I moved to they weren't very friendly, there was another Restaurant in town, and they all went there. So I came back.**

**I left out the stuff like si and buono which mean yes and good; basically stuff that I thought you could get. **


End file.
